By Tran Queen Nag

The storm hit my village at midnight, with lightning lacerating the sky and rains rushing over the tree tops. Maize leaves flew across the fields and eucalyptus branches broke as roots were torn from the earth. Hints of mint wafted through the air where the trunks were pulled up, and the branches took flight in the gusts as soon as they hit the ground.

The entire village lost power, and the only human voices that could be heard were calls to bank the scrimping ponds and dredge the canals. For brief moments, torches could be seen glowing in the distance, bringing with them the smells of kerosene and burnt rags before disappearing into the darkness.

I sat motionless in the front of the house. I could feel the storm coming through the western wing, rattling the weak windows. The stone-printed photograph from my brother’s wedding shook slightly.

My sister-in-law sat huddled at the head of the bed, startled. She looked out and sighed.

"I don’t like the weather here in the country’s centre. It’s too hot and it rains all the time. It’s so terrible!"

My father paid her no attention, but my mother sulked and replied:

"I’ve lived here my whole life, you know. I raised my children here and gave them a good education. It’s our home."

My sister-in-law knew she’d crossed the line, so she turned silent. The whole house was quiet. She looked down at her extended belly.

Darkness allowed her to examine each family member. My father’s face was tense, his wrinkles stretched and his eyes sunken. He took his pipe from under the table, rolled a small pellet of tobacco and took a deep drag. This was only the fifth night since my brother had taken his wife home, and my father was smoking now more than ever.

Initially my father supported the idea of my brother getting married, but he imagined him finding a wife closer to home. A wife from the village would have been so much better. Father had wanted my brother to marry Miss Dao, a tailor from the other end of the village. She was tender, with a good job, and father would always hint at the prospect when he visited her shop.

At first, he was just gauging Miss Dao’s reaction. Then he began to warn her about the other boys in the village. He told her that my brother The was a handsome, rugged and hardworking man. Thrifty, yes, but he had saved enough money to build my father one of the nicest homes in the village.

And then, without warning, The had come home with another girl, earnestly asking for her hand in marriage. If my parents agreed, I would lose my brother and the family would lose a major breadwinner. But he was determined, and my parents eventually gave in. So a large wedding ceremony was organised and all of the neighbours and villagers attended.

The storm came afterwards. Mother was relieved.

"We’re fortunate, and our son and daughter-in-law are also very lucky. Hopefully this luck will stay with them."

But my father was not satisfied. I knew that he didn’t want my brother and sister-in-law to leave right after the wedding. But he also knew that he couldn’t keep them here. They now had their own life, and father was not a narrow-minded man.

In the evening, my aunt came by and spoke to my mother. She told her that when parents visit their children in faraway lands, they must come bearing many gifts.

When my mother heard this, she became sad.

"But how can I do this, sister? When a mother’s child leaves home, it’s as if they don’t exist. We need them in the flesh. When I grow older, will I ever have a grandchild to carry in my arms?"

I sat there and listened to them in silence, and my heart felt empty. I wanted to pull them away from each other, but then I thought about myself, and how I would not be able to care for my parents when they got old. How could I? How could my feeble legs support them? Even during the storm, my parents had to run out to put up supports while I sat useless indoors. It made me feel hopeless and indescribably sad.

The sun eventually broke from behind the clouds. Mother was outside cleaning and sweeping up the fallen leaves. Blossoms sprouted on the eucalyptus branches littering the ground. My brother and his wife were already gone and the house felt lonely with just the three of us, just father, mother and me. Three adults in such a large, empty house.

I went out and collected small household appliances from around the village and dried them on the veranda. I rewound the motor on my teacher Pham’s fan. He lived at the other end of the village. When I was done, I took my wheelchair into the alley.

I hadn’t been to the alley since my brother’s wedding. Nor had my father. I think he felt ashamed and always took the longer route. He would only come here when he was in a hurry. He would ride past Miss Dao’s shop without even looking inside. He didn’t have the guts. But I had a different idea.

Marriage was fate in my mind, and any time I went past her shop, I would get so nervous my cheeks would turn bright red. But when Miss Dao saw me, she would only smile as if nothing had happened.

The village teacher’s house looked like a battlefield after the storm. The old man was sitting atop a pile of dead leaves, his white hair blowing, contrasting with the yellows and greens in his yard. Eucalyptus trees grew everywhere in my village. They grew in gardens, alongside homes and just off the streets. But the old teacher’s house had the largest number in the whole village. He had three sons, but they were all married and lived far away. Now, it was just him and his wife.

But just like everyone else, the elderly need friends. The old teacher and his wife were constantly under the weather, so I would go by and take care of him, play chess and while away the time.

As soon as she saw me, the teacher’s wife called for her husband.

"You know, my husband has been mentioning you a lot these days. He complains that nobody comes to play chess with him when it rains. He wants you to stay and have lunch with us today. Please do. We’re having anabas fish cooked with soya and saffron. Oh, and Miss Dao has been here since early this morning cleaning up the garden."

As soon as she said this I saw Miss Dao working behind the large pile of leaves. I kept silent. Sunlight sparkled in a pool of water. I looked around. The storm had devastated the garden. The old teacher looked very worried. He brought a pot of tea over to the veranda and poured a bowl for me and another for himself, then placed the chess kit before me. I didn’t want to stay there, but it was too late. Miss Dao was carrying the meal toward us.

As we ate, nobody said a word. Even the air was quiet. The old teacher poured a cup of wine and handed it to me, saying:

"Have one cup and take a rest. I’ll ask Miss Dao to take you home this afternoon. Right now the roads are slippery as eels and I’m afraid your chair will lose control."

Suddenly, I felt a huge weight upon my shoulders. I was nothing more than a burden to most people. I drank down the alcohol in one large gulp.

***

It was already dusk as I moved along the river’s banks.

The storm passed quickly, but left terrible destruction in its wake. My village was torn apart. The banks were crumbling and the water was filled with detritus.

I sat silently on the banks until stars began to appear in the sky. I felt lonely. When I was a younger man, I had dreams and aspirations. But it was all meaningless to me now. I used to dream of having a family of my own. I dreamt of a wife leaning over a sewing machine, smiling, peering over at a nearby cradle.

At one point, Miss Dao had looked at me as if she could read my mind, as if she knew about these things.

***

Yes, time flies. Seasons change in the blink of an eye. The weather had turned cold and dry very quickly, and now, a northeastern wind was blowing over the sugarcane fields.

Mother had prepared everything for her journey south, even dried soapberries to wash her hair. She’d been talking about the journey for a long time. On the day she was to leave, she took my father aside and reminded him of all the things he would need to take care of. She told him to go to the old teacher if he needed help. To not sell the cow. To take care of the home. And so on and so forth.

Then, when she left, it was only father and me in the house. If she did not return by Tet, we would have no one to help us prepare for the New Year, which was only a month away.

To be honest, I wouldn’t have even remembered Tet if I hadn’t visited Miss Dao’s shop. Everything there was on sale and people were crowding in to purchase goods.

Of course, father didn’t sell the cow and everyday he brought it to the meadow at the head of the village. But the river was beginning to flood and the meadow was filling in with water. It was the season. Everything was falling into a tranquil sadness. Several overturned boats sat along the river banks.

I went to visit the old teacher, and his wife was picking fragrant leaves called nep leaves to cook with sticky rice. She turned to me.

"Have you and your father prepared anything for the Kitchen God?"

"My father doesn’t know anything about it!" I smiled. "When my mother isn’t around, we can’t do anything."

"Why don’t you ask Miss Dao to help you?" the old woman said.

I stammered. I didn’t want her to know how I felt.

"I don’t know. I don’t want to trouble her," I said.

That night I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned. I felt so alone without mother in the house. I wanted to discuss Tet with father, but I stopped short. When I was finally able to close my eyes, sunlight was already shining through the palm tree into the front of the house. And the bamboo grove swayed in the alley.

I startled at a noise behind me. It was Miss Dao. She’d been standing there for some time without my noticing.

"What are you thinking so hard about, Mr Phi?"

"Oh. When did you arrive?" I said, still puzzled.

"I was here when your father was still in the house. Now he’s gone to the teacher to get some pork. If there’s anything I can help you with, please don’t hesitate to ask. I’ll take care of everything for you. Oh. And I would like you to repair a switch on my desk lamp so I can work at night again."

By the time I found my voice, she was gone.

I took her lamp and repaired it on the veranda. I was happy. Something bright and fresh and flowing was inside of me. Spring was almost here. And when it arrived, Miss Dao would come over and share dinner with my father and me.

Translated by Manh Chuong